I was recently listening to someone read the passage of Matthew (chapter 4, verses 1-11) where Jesus is tempted in the desert for 40 days and nights. At first my brain was kind of like, "yeah yeah....same story...Jesus tempted, desert, lent, sacrifice, fish on Fridays, yada, yada, yada..." But then my brain woke up, and was like, "Hello...40 days AND AND AND NIGHTS...." Dang. The word "Night..." just echoing in my mind. My heart sank.
Jesus in the desert, at night, being tempted by Satan himself. Let the reality of what that must have been like sink in....
I get nervous walking my dog outside at night in our backyard even anywhere that is remotely close to a small patch of woods. That's 20 feet from my house, with a 90 lbs. dog to protect me, with no one tempting me to sin. I have also fought my own dark battles with depression both in high school and with PTSD after college. Deep, dark, very scary battles.
And here is Jesus, my Savior, both God and still very much a man...alone in the darkness with Satan. He's not sleeping, he's not eating, it gets very cold on desert nights, and he is totally alone, and he's under constant torment from Satan. The account in Scripture gives us only a small glimpse into those 40 days. All I know is that when the angels came to minister to Him - what relief there must have been and solace in that comfort from above. Like a war torn soldier coming home and finally receiving that well earned rest away from the enemy and bloody battles.
God knows what it is like to fight hard battles. He knows what it is like to feel completely abandoned. He gets what it is like to be on the brink of giving up. Yet how often do I forget that reality both in my big battle moments (like with PTSD) and in my day to day struggles (fighting impatience, gossip, greed...). He knows. He really really knows.
Lean on his strength. Lean on his love. Lean on his presence.
